Domesticated Bliss (or miss)….

Because not every women was born domesticated

Things I’ve Learned as a Wife July 11, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — domesticatedbliss @ 4:54 pm

Since The Bike Man and I have been hitched we have each learned so much about being great spouses. Though we don’t always succeed, and occasionally we get in full body slamming fist fights (not) we really are the best of friends and compliment each other really well. At the beginning of the marriage (a whole 10 months ago) I wasn’t really interested in being “domesticated”. It may have the set back in my athletics I had back in January or it may have the thought of a new home, but something finally set off and I was ready to be wifey. Since then I have really learned a bit. I am going to start compiling a list of the domesticated diva-ish things that I have tried and failed and some I have really rocked at.

1. Your husband doesnt have to eat everything you cook. Chances are if you dont like it you may find him in the bathroom flushing it down the toilet.

2. You do have to eat everything your husband cooks even if you don’t like it, and your sweating from the heat of the extra chili powder. Just smile and eat your plate. If he questions about seconds tell him your watching your waist line.

3. Corn on the cob is best not cooked in the oven (ex. pop corn). Things can also get interesting if you forget the corn and turning off the oven until the next morning.

4. A wet purse, or bad tasting gum might have something to do with your potty training puppy.

5. Always make a grocery list and ask your husband to add a few items he may need. Don’t forget the list when you go (as well as your reusable bags) because he can remember all the things you forgot.

6. Never let your husband do the shopping because he will come home with half as much as you do, and spend twice as much. He may have ate it all in the car, or forgot some bags in the cart but his receipt will be small and your bank account smaller if he heads out to the store.

7. Sometimes at bedtime your husband may have a “headache” too, you are not the only one with this excuse.

8. Husbands tend to pee a thousand times a night. For some reason they want you to know this and are known to announce this at anytime in the early am.

9. Sometimes a scale in the bathroom is your friend, sometimes its your enemy. This scale is always my husbands enemy, but I always tell him how sexy he looks, and how his abs look riper than Lance’s and then his “headache” goes away.

10. Be careful when looking around your home because all of the sudden you might catch an eyeful of man junk. If it surprises you don’t ever act disgusted and watch your facial expressions they may take your reaction to heart (or head).

11. Your husband probably doesn’t notice when you make the bed, do the laundry, and straighten the couch pillows, but you better put the trash bag where it belongs or else your likely to find out what he notices.

12. Just go ahead and keep your legs shaved you never know when he might cop a feel and realize how much you’ve let yourself go. (This is definitely a must if your husband is a leg shaving bike rider)

13. Even though it easy to make a bald joke, if your man is balding keep it to yourself.

14. Measure when cooking/baking this does not mean pinches, and dashes. Things always look like the pictures in the cook book when you put a little effort into it.


2 Responses to “Things I’ve Learned as a Wife”

  1. Suzanne West Says:

    I am laughing out loud here!!!!!

  2. […] my period this morning, so I am grumpy and bloated! I tell you what, another thing to add to my “Things I have Learned as a Wife” List : Husbands do not like to pack, as a matter a fact they hate moves. When you are working your butt […]

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